Are Women Leaders Facing A Likeability Dilema?

There was an eye-opening experiment done at Columbia Business School. A professor took the case study of a woman called Heidi, a successful VC. Half the class was given the case study of Heidi. For the other half of the class, the professor changed the name to “Howard”, effectively changing the gender of the VC. Everything else about the case study stayed the same The professor asked students to rate how competent and likeable Heidi and Howard were. Both female and male students agreed that both Heidi and Howard were competent, but the students seemed to not like Heidi.

For many, women are expected to be nice, submissive, demure, shy, friendly, nurturing and warm. And that affects their being taken seriously as a leader or being considered for top positions And worse, if a woman leader does have these stereotypical feminine traits, they’re still not taken seriously as a leader, is not being considered for top positions and is seen as not competent So, they’re damned if they do and they’re damned if they don’t This is the assertiveness penalty that female leaders face New Zealand PM Jacinda Ardern remarked, “One of the criticisms I’ve faced over the years is that I’m not aggressive or assertive enough or maybe somehow, because I’m empathetic and weak”.

Think of the double bind, in the same situation:You have to decide how to balance being strong and subtle & both impulsive and thoughtful At a societal level, even as kids, there need to be more informed conversations about gender stereotypes and how biased thinking prevents women from realizing their ambitions and dreams When there are biased adjectives like “pushy”, “bossy” and “aggressive” used for females, find out what the context was It’s best to embrace who you are and what you can do You can make an impact, so show what you can do and play to succeed.

We’re maybe at a time when there’s a premium on being a genuine leader Everyone has a part to play in diminishing the likeability bias. There need to be support networks that comprise everyone, who is willing to listen, support and endorse That’s why it’s important to find your tribe: people who understand you, people who value what you bring to the table, people who keep you grounded, but also help you fly The concept of likeability has to be redefined to mean straightforward, competent, responsible, honest, forward-thinking and more And, in some circumstances, if you think a workplace is just too intransigent and unable to align with your core values, it may be time to find a new place to grow There’s not always going to be a fit, no matter how hard you persist.